Nonfiction

 
Everybody Has A Story
or
Be Careful What You Wish For
 
by Glenda Glayzer


Everybody has a story, and the longer we live the more our stories seem to loop back upon themselves. Last week, having started over for the millionth time, I was going through papers in preparation for yet another move. I came across my first journal, written in the 1970s when I began searching for who I was. Trite, I know, but for those of us who grew up in the '50s it was a big deal.

Nice girls of that era were programmed from birth to fulfill one of three specific roles: The role of homemaker, the role of nurse, or the role of teacher. Many of us married very young, either because we got pregnant or we wanted to escape our parents' smothering households. By the time the '70s rolled around our first marriage had either become unbearable or was already over. Mine was no exception.

I had never lived alone, had never known the freedom of locking my door at night and knowing that nobody else could enter without my permission. The world was suddenly filled with tasty tidbits, all of which had been off my plate for my entire life. I lived and worked in San Francisco, an original cast member of a musical review called Beach Blanket Babylon, and the world had become my oyster.

The unexpected freedom to be and do anything I wanted was heady wine, but, since I'm an introspective person, I was confronted with the fact that I had no idea who I was. I had always been somebody's daughter, somebody's wife, and somebody's mother. I had never even looked at Me.
 
Introspection can take many forms. Unlike most of my contemporaries, drugs were no enticement. I hated losing track of what I was saying in the middle of a sentence, or falling asleep in my food. Alcohol was there and flowing freely, but I had come from a teetotaler background, and, although I liked wine, I didn't have much of a stomach for drinking. Sexual experimentation in vast quantities became my drug of choice, but the physical can only go on for just so long. At one point or another we all have to stop and think, to examine our lives.

I began leading an examined life by tracking my emotions, spilling them onto paper in the current style of poetry writing, which distained rhythm and rhyme. Some of my stuff was published once, almost by accident, but most of it lay where I put it, shared periodically with friends. Some of it I even forgot I'd written.

In addition to doing eight stage shows a week with BBB, I had my own cabaret act, performed regularly in various gay clubs. This was a great outlet for me, and a terrific learning experience. Performing in such intimate surroundings taught me that audiences can smell a fake from far away and that authenticity was the way to their hearts.

My brain is a catalogue of music. I never forget a lyric and there must be hundreds in my memory. I decided that I should write an original song. How hard could it be? So I put my hand to paper and what did I get? Nothing. Well, I got some trite drivel that sounded as bad as if it were nothing. What was the matter? All of that musical and lyrical information and I couldn't come up with one good song? Feeling frustrated, but not being the masochistic sort, I gave up music composition then and there and concentrated on singing, dancing, acting, and writing.

The years rolled by and I came to the point where I was no longer in demand for the stage so I moved on. I started a location sound recording company for the motion picture industry, creating with sounds.

When I was forty, I suddenly became a different kind of artist. Never having studied or even done much drawing, I found myself painting and sculpting. This was so foreign to me that it was almost as if I had been taken over by somebody else. Every week I painted in a different style; I sculpted different figures. The art flowed, not from me, but through me.

More years rolled by and I went back to school for my Culinary Arts degree. I worked in restaurant kitchens creating plates of beautifully designed, exquisitely flavored food.

When my age prevented me from continuing to do restaurant work, I taught myself to create web pages and the graphics to go on them, to draw something visible only on the internet out of ones and zeros. And here I am today.

So, you ask, why are you telling me all this? Here's why. Let's go back to last week when I came across my first journal. There I found, totally forgotten, a poem written after my failed attempt to compose that song:

_____________________________

They've used up all the words.
They've sung out all the melodies.
I think there are no harmonies that someone hasn't played.
I want to write a different song, pen poems to help the world along.
But I don't want the words to rhyme or say trite things that have no meaning.
I want each isolated thought to be clear and to the point.
I want to break the rules that say a song must sound a certain way to be a song.
Still,
All life has a rhythm.
All things follow patterns, too.
I hear life as harmonies that someone made and played.
I want to write a different song, pen poems to help the world along.
And the only way I can reach out and touch you.
To paint you a picture with words that are such
That you hear them and see them and feel them and live them all through,
Is to follow the patterns set out before me.
Give you the same words in different arrangement,
Use melodies, harmonies, colors that others have thought of before.
And still there's inside me the need to continue
To look for a new word to paint you a sunset.
To search for a color unknown to the palette,
To let you hear music that no one around you has heard of before.
I want to write a different song.

________________________________

It was as if, having found it impossible to compose a song, my subconscious decided it would fulfill my dream. It would search for other ways to express itself artistically, looping from artform to artform until satisfied, then moving to the next.

In 1976 with this one poem I unknowingly mapped the next 30 years of my life.

Be careful what you wish for.



Bio:Born Glenda Bell in July of 1945, she spent her early years as a musical prodigy.  She made her first record at the age of 13, singing with her parents and siblings (The Bell Family Gospel Singers). Married at an early age to John Glayzer, she moved with him to Europe in 1965. There she began her professional stage career in the Nuremberg and Vienna opera houses, doing American Musicals in the German Language.

Returning to the United States in 1974, she became an original cast member in the still-running musical Beach Blanket Babylon in San Francisco, California.  Over the years, Glenda has added many skills to her career bag including sculpting, painting, photography, sound recording, writing and culinary arts certification.

For the past decade, Glenda has been designing and building websites while continuing to write articles and fiction for various online sites. Last month she returned to the stage to re-create her 1983 role of the Mother Abbess at the Curtain Call Dinner Theatre in Tustin, CA.  Her goal in this life is to learn as much as she can.


 

 



 

The Coordinated, Expansive and Coercive Sounds of the Universe
              

by Levi Dendy

 

The Standard model, amongst many models, tries to explain the universe and everything in it, but always lack gravity, the ‘God’ particle, the need for a larger particle collider… or something! Einstein’s spacetime appears to be argued from two mathematical perspectives, infinite and finite. Sound or pressure waves have existed since the beginning of the universe according to Mark Whittle at the Department of Astronomy University of Virginia. My theory of mapping the universe supports his pressure wave models of natural oscillating harmonic frequencies throughout the universe.

Instead of mapping a point in space and time with subatomic particles, natural oscillating harmonic frequencies creating coordinated pressure waves provide an area rather than a subatomic point alongside a specified cohesive time (which has so far been dubbed impossible because of the particle/wave theory). If you need something metaphoric (and also musical) to tie natural oscillating harmonic frequencies and the pressure waves they create to, think about a pipe organ. Let’s start with time first.

How does one measure time though? It’s rather selfish to say ‘our’ measurement of time is the way all time is measured, even though gravity flexes our clock’s ability to tell time the further away from the planet we go (time dilation). This flex is like a sound or pressure wave that has existed since the formation of our planet. If we map spacetime in a series of coordinates based on the natural oscillating harmonic frequency and pressure waves created, we should be able to pinpoint any area of time and space throughout the universe.

Paraphrasing Mark, when the universe was small, the relative ‘pitch’ of the universe’s pressure wave was extremely high in frequency with a short wavelength due to the relatively small size the universe was. This means the space available was small and limited for the pressure wave to flex or oscillate within. Today, the universe has grown much larger causing the ‘pitch’ (or pressure wave) to expand to such a large size that it has to be modulated accordingly within the range of the human ear. (Mark Whittle’s research provides some of these tones on his website.)

I developed the ‘meat and potatoes’ of my universal map of time and space while a music student at the University of Southern Mississippi, long before I started reading physics book for clarification as well as proof or denial of its plausibility. After checking out Mark Whittle’s research, I found more and more theoretical support. I’m no math whiz, but it just seems more plausible to coordinate an area for spacetime travel rather than a subatomic point.

The only known thing (or that I know of) that can exist with a subatomic point is a black hole, and I have no desire to have my internal organs strung out into a singularity just to travel anywhere in space and time. (Reconstitution is impossible.) Mapping the whole of space and time is simplified when specifying a sequence of natural oscillating harmonic frequencies of coordinated pressure waves like ripples in a pond.

For example: Take a small pond with a still surface. On one end drop your finger in at the very edge. We will call this the birth of the universe. The ripple in the pond increases in size just as the pressure wave relative to the natural harmonic oscillation of the universe increases in size. (I’m not saying it has to expand in one direction since space theoretically can fold upon itself and the ripples on the surface of the pond are just for illustrative purposes.) Now let’s say it begins to cloud over and sprinkle as the ripple (or the pressure wave of the expanding universe) reaches halfway across the pond. These raindrops give us new ripples that contrapuntally react with the natural oscillating harmonic frequency of the created pressure waves defining the universe as a whole regardless of what is new to it.

One could possibly coordinate any area in space and time with the expanding size of these pressure waves and how their areas intersect and rotate within this pond we call the universe (but only to the edge of the original ripple and far it has traveled, not the entire pond itself). These sequenced coordinates could be a series of harmonic oscillations as such to map any area in space and time according to how far the origination of the pressure wave has expanded, but in this specific order:

1) The Universe
2) The System
3) The Galaxy
4) The Central Star(s) (plural for systems with rotating stars)
5) The Orbital frequency of the planet

We obviously could not travel to or from any planet’s surface because of the effects of time dilation. Pressure waves would vary until reaching the nominal, but infinitely variating orbital frequency (as a coordinate) and the following created pressure waves. The coordinated effort between the natural oscillating harmonic frequencies of these pressure waves designates a specific area of space and time and no single sequence would ever repeat because of the ever expanding universe. Remember how the ripple in the pond started small and continues to expand. Ignore the finite size of the pond; it’s not pertinent to the metaphor.

Relatively speaking, once a minute has passed, it will never repeat itself, but this gives us a rational point in ‘practical’ everyday physics to compare to this sequence of natural oscillating harmonic frequencies and the pressure waves they create to represent any specific area of space and time similar to the areas that are represented by the different time zones.

The questions my time travel theory fails to answer, even after mapping the universe for all space and time with these sequenced natural oscillating harmonic frequencies and the pressure waves they create: How do we ride them? Which way can ride them? Can we hitch a ride on them at all, or only just listen to them? This could also have some ties to the EVP work that the Ghost Hunters perform. Spirits from long ago reflect sound waves back and forth through time with us here in the present, with both parties unable to pull the distortion out of the signal in order to communicate with each other effectively.

Maybe it requires a musical instrument interface similar to a MIDI controller to be attached to the Large Hadron Collider. A little intuition goes a long way especially when considering that most sub atomic particles were theorized years, sometimes decades before we had equipment capable of confirming (or denying) their existence. Perhaps the universe is more musical than I think. Positrons might even offer a musical tone to trace since they are electrons that travel backwards in time. This is just some musical physics for thought.

Here are four wonderful physics books I’ve read recently that might help you shed some light on our musical universe (only as us musicians can hope): Black Holes and Time Warps by Kip Thorne, Quantum Gravity by Lee Smolin, The Theory of Almost Everything by Robert Oerter and Time Travel in Einstein’s Universe by J. Richard Gott. Don’t forget to check up on the 27 mile long Large Hadron Collider’s latest discoveries. (I can’t believe that all of the 2,200 physicists working on the project have good intentions either.) Also check out Mark Whittle’s website: http://www.astro.virginia.edu/~dmw8f/index.php. Enjoy... and explore the very relative possibilities between music and the theory of everything. I have.

Bio: Levi Dendy is an unpublished science fiction writer and musician. He plays and writes a lot of jazz and classical music on piano and guitar. He loves great music and real freedom. How much freedom are you willing to give up for convenience? He says, ‘to hell with convenience’, give me my freedom… not anarchy, not American freedom, not capitalistic freedom, nor any religious ‘bout or standard model musical or not, just real freedom. That rings the sounds of truth in his ears much like his favorite Miles Davis CD, in a silent way. Maybe one day ethical and ideal time travel will be possible. Until then he'll continue sending his natural oscillating harmonic frequencies and the pressure waves they create across this island Earth, one second at a time. Damn… this island is getting crowded.