Poetry Page 3
May 2009

 

 

ARGUEING

 

   by Mike Berger

 

Argue? haah!

I avoid

augments like

flu shots.

 

I never holler or

shout.

.

My wife and I disagree

She likes things 

spotlessly clean.

I am laissez-faire.

There is disaster

everywhere.

 

When walking away

doesn’t work,

I simply slip off all of

my clothes and

she hysterically laughs.

.

 

 

CLUELESS POET

 

      by Mike Berger

 

The editor says he wants

distinct images so I am

sending him photographs.

He says he hates cute

bunny poems so I'm striking

the B-word from my list.

He doesn't want trite rhymes

like love and above. Cowboy

verse is worse than twangy

cowboy songs. To print the

inane would be insane. Please

no blood and guts. The editor

wants fresh language so

I'm spraying this poem

with FebreZe.

 

 

 

 

 

 

ON  BEING  A  PH D

   

          by  Mike  Berger

      

 

They tell me I am a dilatant

Tinkering with this and dabbling with that.

I ponder on the space-time fabric,

And most of my words are polysyllabic.

 

To me, mathematics has been quite kind.

Solving complex equations stretches your mind.

I love classical music, that isn't a joke.

I can't carry a tune for the Handel is baroque.

 

I like to discuss obtuse metaphysics.

And I'm fairly conversant with quantum mechanics

I dabble with Zen and Eastern philosophy, too.

And wonder at the differences between a kangaroo.

 

I love to paint and fuss with canvas and oil

And plant wildflowers, in my rocky old soil.

Then let me say in the most humble way.

I'm really quite good at sculpting with clay.

 

I'm really quite bright and quite humble too.

A rare combination possessed by so few.

At geography, I'm really a whiz,

I can say in a flash, where Borneo is.

 

I know a lot about the human brain,

The clinically depressed as well as the insane

Yet, I can't boil water and I can't butter toast.

When it comes to survival, I'm dumb as a post.

 



 

 

Bio: Mike Berger is 72 years old. He has a  Ph.D. in clinical psychology and was a practicing psychotherapist for 30 years. He is now fully retired. He has authored two books of short stories, and has been published in numerous professional journals. He has freelanced for more than 20 years.  His humor pieces Clyde and Goliath, Good Grief Columbus, and If Noah Built the Ark Today have won awards.  He is now writing poetry full-time, and also enjoys: sculpting, painting, gardening and baking bread.  His forcaccia is to die for.




 

 

Blowing on a Fly

     by  Drew Lankford

 

My sons take great pleasure in blowing

on a fly in the kitchen as they eat pancakes.

There’s nothing I can say that would be as funny

to them as it is to blow on the fly and watch it circle

away, come back, land in puddles of syrup.

The fly is a true entertainer, a tiny Charley Chaplain

 

with wings and whiskers; silent yet deliciously jolly.

 

Bio:  Drew Lankford is a 7th Grade Teacher in  Reading and  Language Arts in Nashville, TN.